Subtle Narcissism at Work: The Traits We Miss and the Cultures They Create

Author Sallina Jeffrey MBA

PhD Candidate

Not all harm in the workplace is loud!!

Some of the most culture-eroding behaviours are so subtle, so socially acceptable that they’re rarely questioned, let alone named.

This is where sub-clinical narcissism quietly thrives.

Not in the obvious grandiosity we might expect but in behaviours that undermine trust, erode safety, and destabilise teams, all while looking polished on the surface. Sub-clinical narcissism often goes undetected, not because it isn’t present, but because it shows up in forms we don’t always recognise or have language for. It’s not just the loud or self-promoting personalities we’ve come to associate with narcissism. There are quieter, more insidious expressions: covert, communal, or even vulnerable narcissists, whose behaviours are often cloaked in charm, helpfulness, or empathy. Their impact is just as real, sometimes more so, because it's harder to pinpoint and even harder to name.

This is where narcissism lives beneath the surface. Not loud, but persistent. Not visible, but deeply felt.

What Is Sub-Clinical Narcissism?

Sub-clinical narcissism exists on a spectrum, often quiet, strategic, or emotionally complex. It doesn’t always look like arrogance or grandiosity. In fact, it can be expressed through strategic humility, calculated helpfulness, or an ongoing effort to carefully manage perception and influence.

These individuals may appear selfless, collaborative, and even emotionally attuned while subtly orchestrating control, dominance, or validation behind the scenes. It’s less about obvious superiority and more about curating how they’re seen, how others respond, and how much space others are allowed to take up.

Because these behaviours are difficult to decode and often socially rewarded, they frequently go unchallenged, especially in environments where image is valued over insight.

Why We Miss It

Because it’s not always what’s done but how and why.

It’s selective transparency, where information is shared just enough to maintain dependence.
It’s the email you’re accidentally left off—just often enough to feel sidelined.
It’s the subtle comment across a meeting room that’s hard to call out but hard to forget.
Its decisions are made in closed circles and then announced as a consensus.
It’s the shift in tone depending on who’s in the room and the unspoken tension that follows.

Often, these behaviours are dismissed or downplayed: “That’s just how they are.”Don’t take it personally.”They mean well.”

But when we consistently ignore the discomfort, the dynamic strengthens. Not because of malice but because of the silence around it.

The Organisational Cost

Subtle narcissism rarely shows up in a performance review. But it shows up in the gaps between people:

Colleagues who hesitate before speaking up.
Teams that look cohesive on paper but feel fractured in person.
Cultures where psychological safety is referenced often but rarely felt.
Good people quietly exiting—not for better pay, but for deeper integrity.

It doesn’t break a culture overnight. But it slowly bends it—until trust, transparency, and healthy challenge are no longer the norm.

What We Can Do

Recognise that not all harm is visible, noticing how people feel after certain interactions, not just whether tasks are complete. Culture is what lingers in the room.
Give language to what’s hard to describe. Not all behaviours are overtly toxic, but many are misaligned. Equipping teams with language to name these patterns helps break the silence.
Reward clarity over charisma. Celebrate those who lead with consistency, humility, and integrity—not just those who present well or perform leadership traits.
Support bystanders to step forward and encourage people to gently call out what doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t require conflict, just courage to stay in integrity.
An audit from the ground up is not just about what the culture says but also how it feels. Narcissistic patterns are often invisible to the top, but deeply felt at the edges.

Subtle narcissism thrives in ambiguity. But with awareness, language, and collective reflection, we can interrupt the cycle, not with blame, but with intention.

Because the most powerful cultures are not the ones that avoid discomfort; they're the ones that know how to name it.

We all have a role to play, to call out what is not right and carry out behaviours in the workplace that are healthy and supportive.

I find this topic so fascinating, especially as it is so challenging to name but so easy to feel.

Author Sallina Jeffrey MBA

PhD Candidate